Did you noticed that our daily fashion is the gossip, judging what other people are doing, without feeling sorry and without trying to go deeper than what we are really seeing? We are not even trying to put ourselves in other’s person place, not even thinking what pushed him or her to do that. We always know better or we would do better than others in certain situations. I give you an example:
Sandra, 23 years old, with a stable relationship, a good job and a normal life. Every time I meet her she’s complaining about somebody’s behavior, doesn’t matter if is the boyfriend, a work colleague or even her best friend. Always she has something to say, she finds something to judge. She is like a policemen, waiting for your mistake, so she can give you a fine. I asked her why she’s acting like this, if she is not tired of doing the same all the time, and she couldn’t find an answer.
I told you in the previous article that we are working in patterns, but I didn’t mention that we are thinking in patterns too. We see the World according to our life experiences and according to our way of thinking. Sometimes you see somebody putting a glass on the table without putting a serviette underneath and you get angry; if is your boyfriend (girlfriend) even more, you think he didn’t put it on purpose and you’re just exhausted of repeating the same. You think he’s stupid sometimes, he doesn’t really understand that the white table might be damaged or even more, if is coffee or wine. But wait a second, you just remembered something! Who taught you to keep always the table clean? It was your mother, obsessed with always keeping everything in perfect shape and perfectly clean. She constantly repeated the same to you, since you were little.
Maybe you think is not nice what you just realized, or you try to prove me the opposite. Maybe you think the mother in the example above had some mental disorders and she traumatized her kid with her obsession for cleaning. It might be true too, but it was only an example. You could try to remember a similar experience from your life and you’ll see I might be right.
Every time when we don’t like what another person is doing, is because that something is inside us, somewhere hidden in a corner, waiting to get unleashed. We see ourselves reflected in others, in their behavior too, they are our mirror. Yes, somebody is your mirror, you are somebody’s mirror too. Cool, no? Did you ever thought about this? I find this just wonderful, knowing that you can see yourself reflected in other people. From my point of view, is just amazing to have the possibility to get knowing yourself better in this way. Is important to see your weaknesses, to be aware of them and to use them in a constructive way. If we decide to start changing ourselves, we all know that our mistakes make us stronger, and from that small weakness we can do something great.
So next time when you want to judge somebody, before you start to get annoyed and before you start to complain or make a funny face, just smile and think about yourself. What you just discovered about you? How you can start accepting yourself and your “mirror” too? Also, is not fair to judge others, everybody has his life experiences and reacts conforming to them. You never know what is hidden in a person’s soul and what determinate that person to act like that. In the end of the fact, we are all human beings and we have to respect each other and our individual choices.
I wish you happy reflections!